I\'d like to shake your hand....

In talking with a friend recently, they bemoaned the fact that their significant other seemed to be very self-righteous and absolutely convinced in her perfection and the tremendously flawed state of everyone else. Their aggressive judgmental behaviour precluded any listening or logical thinking on their behalf and worse than anything else this particular person also seized her church\'s interpretation of the word of God and wrapped herself in it as well, to assure her that her behaviour was above reproach.

This situation took me back to when I was first married. We were very young and had moved to Toledo from our hometown. My ex-husband was a drafter and worked in a prominent company in Toledo. I was alone in a new town, with one year of college as a music major, and no real plan for what to do next. It was agreed that finding a job would be a good idea. There was a shopping center in close proximity on the bus route. I travelled there on the advice of a friend of my ex, who worked in a music store there (where they still sold vinyl!), to see if there were any sales jobs available. With little expectation of being hired, I submitted an application to the manager of the tuxedo rental shop in the shopping center. After interviewing with the manager and the district manager I was hired. I was ill-prepared for all that I was going to encounter in the position, but throughout the experience I gained a huge amount of skill and life experience that I draw on every day.

After a few years, the company that I worked for, which was located in Indiana, decided that the remote locations that they maintained in Ohio were not profitable and they sold them to the firmly established local company Russell\'s Formalwear. Russell\'s, which does not exist anymore, was a long lived family business, started by the father, who was a tailor, and at the time when I was absorbed into the organization, president, vice-president, and several others in the organization were all members of the original family. They tried to maintain the other organization\'s stores in their locations for a time, perpetuating the appearance of competition, but eventually the stores became more of an expense and their redundance was a drain, so they were closed. My store was closed and I was transferred to the Russell\'s location that was closest.

That location was managed by a veteran of the menswear/formalwear realm. Virgil worked for years in a now defunct menswear chain, and had been with Russell\'s for many years after that. He was known for his exacting attention to detail and his sometime gruff manner. He was a man of the \"old school\"...sales people sell...the people are already in the store because they want to buy...just get them into a suit. He was also known at Russell\'s as the first manager to take on a female assistant. For the most part, there were few females in the realm, and even when they were hired, it was usually as a part time person to support the store during the busy times of prom and summer weddings. Virgil had no preconceived notions about whether females could do the work of a manager in a store...his standards for her were the same as those he had for himself. She learned from him and followed the protocols, and as a result Virgil was a loyal manager and supported her in her growth and eventual promotion to manager of a store of her own.

I was transferred to this store...having been manager of a store of my own and now being assistant in the store of one of the most prominent managers in the organization. I found Virgil to be generous with his praise and also liberal with his correction. He soon began to invest in my success with supportive congratulations when a job was well done, and also blunt correction when I screwed up. As a result, I screwed up much less, and became much more consistent in all facets of my work...he was a great teacher, and I was a grateful learner. As we worked longer together, I came to feel a real fondness for him....as he shared his love of his family, his faith and his deep devotion to his wife and daughters, I felt almost a familial attachment to him.

During one particularly busy summer wedding weekend, we had a large wedding party that I had registered and measured for their formalwear. They were rude at the fitting, bringing the entire group of groomsmen in together an hour before store close to be measured, and they were drunk. Since our stores were small, they were primarily manned by one person...so I was there alone to measure 6 drunken ushers, the groom and the grooms father. They were also rude when they arrived at the store to pick up the tuxedos for the wedding....they did not send each man in separately to try on the outfit before it left the store, as we always advised - they sent the father of the groom to pick them all up in a batch. In addition, they did not pick up the tuxedos when they were available - the Thursday before their Saturday wedding - they picked them up on Friday night....to apparently be distributed to the party at the church right before the wedding. Virgil was not there to see this happen...but he was in the store when the tuxedos were returned.

On the Tuesday after the wedding (a day late) the father of the groom arrived at the store toting three large garbage bags. He dropped them on the floor next to the counter at the back of the store and said, \"Here are the suits for the ***** wedding. I think I should get some money back. These things fit terrible.\" I was stunned. First, I had no authority to give a refund, second the man was within a foot of me, he had just dropped eight tuxedos, in I had no idea what condition, on the floor in garbage bags at my feet, and he was already on the attack. I looked at him and said, \"I will have to check in the tuxedos - you will have to wait until I assure that we have gotten everything back,\" then I began to dig through the smelly, tangled mess to sort jackets, trousers, shirts and ties to see if all was there. The father continued to harrange me about the tuxedos...\"all the pants did not fit in the waist, they were too long/too short/ the shirt sleeves were too long/too short - my jacket was tight in the waist....\" he just went on and on....

I think that Virgil would have let me finish the transaction if the man had not been mercilessly badgering me...he usually did not interject when I had a difficult customer...part of my learning, I had come to understand. But in this case, he stepped from the back area of the store and walked around where I was sorting to stand toe to toe with the belligerent man.

\"Sir,\" he said, \"I couldn\'t help but overhear that you had some trouble with your suits.\" The man looked at him, still defiant and said, \"Yes, I certainly did.\" Virgil calmly continued...\"So, when did you pick them up?\" The man was forced to acknowledge that it had been Friday before he came to collect them for the party. Then Virgil asked, \"And as soon as you got them you tried them on?\" The man admitted that , no, they had not tried them on and only dressed when at the church. Virgil looked at the man. He then looked toward me, still sorting through the dirty clothes in the garbage bags. Then he continued...

\"Sir, this little girl works very hard here for me and is very good at her job. This is a very busy time of year and there are a lot of weddings taking place, not just at our store but at all the stores that Russell\'s has. Everyone is human and makes mistakes, but we have things that we do to assure that if a mistake is made we can fix it so that you are happy and your wedding can go well...\"

Virgil then extended his hand to the man....\"Obviously, however, since you found it necessary to talk to this girl the way you did, you much BE PERFECT....so, sir, I would very much like to shake your hand....\"

\"I never thought I would meet Jesus Christ in my lifetime, and if you are perfect, then surely you must be him.\"

The man was taken aback...the look on his face was one I will never forget....I cannot read to this day what was going on in his mind, but I think it may have been a lightbulb moment. After that, he apologized to Virgil (interestingly enough, not to me however) and left the store. Virgil, not missing a beat, helped me sort the rest of the accessories and then transport the whole smelly mess to the back room to return to the plant to be dry cleaned.

The point of this very long ramble...I have never claimed to be perfect...and don\'t feel that anyone can ever claim that....this story always comes to mind if I even get a tiny bit egotistical....I am so grateful to have had Virgil in my life at that very formative time...he is gone now, but I still think of him and what I learned from him...this and so many other things...

Hope you enjoyed this story....till later, much love to you

 

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