...was to pop into a newish bookstore in a newish strip center that I had never been to before...almost done with my current Stephen King ("Lisey's Story") and ready to pick up "The Cell" (yes, I know it has been out for a while....just never picked it up) What I was greeted with was an announcement over the store intercom stating "Good morning customers; if you are here for the Laura Ingraham book signing to begin at noon today, please make sure you have your books checked in, or if you need to purchase one, please visit the numerous displays in place throughout the store. Thank you." Hmmm...intriguing....I don't even know who this person is, but from the looks of the folks milling about in the store at only eleven o'clock, I thought it would be in my interest to pick up a copy of the book (to at least look at the book jacket) to find out.I found that Ms Ingraham is a talk radio personality and author, categorized in the ranks of Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. Although not a political person by design, I am not really all that fascinated with folks on this side of the political spectrum, and I was really torn if the draw of getting an autographed copy of the book was that strong, considering. In a moment of weakness I picked up my Stephen King, and impulsively walked to the check out with the other book in my hand as well...I would be lying if I said that I didn't think of laying it down and leaving without it at least once before the woman at the check out took my money.
After paying, I walked back to the front of the store, where the followers of Ann Ingraham were assembling. The thronging tens of them were any make and description of quintescential midwesterner you might be able to imagine....at the front of the VIP line a very round and plain looking woman with Dr Scholl's type sandals with stars and stripes on the straps, homemade cookies in a Tupperware container and a plain white envelope (which we found later to have a contribution, which was acknowledged before the rest of the waiting folks). The rest of the mix was very much the same...pasty white guys and their bossy wives/girlfriends, and outspoken older folks, both male and female, that agree with Ms Ingraham that America is going to hell in a handbasket and something has to be done about it.
My line companions were, to the front of me, a married man who was there because he heard of the signing while engaged in his daily listening and to the rear, a sometimes talkative and very opinionated older lady who had no trouble letting everyone around her know exactly her thoughts on anything and everything. As she engaged me in conversation and I realized exactly what I had gotten myself into, my mantra became "Nod and smile....nod and smile..." and for goodness sake don't say anything stupid!
Her opinions regarding politicians, family and the state of the country were about what I had expected, given age and obvious affiliation...I seemed to be nodding at the appropriate times, as it appeared that I was ingratiating myself to her somewhat. At one point, when engaging me in a little more personal conversation, she made a comment on my relatively dark tan...slyly hinting that my legs were very dark, but she bet that my "rear" was very white....I thought for a tick on just the right way to come at the topic, then gestured with an index finger that she should lean in a little so that i could talk quietly in her ear. When she did, I said only this, "No, my butt is just as dark as the rest of me...I tan naked in the tanning bed." With that I stood up again and smiled a little amused smile. She looked at me as if I had told her I eat children, took a step back, and did not engage me in personal conversation for the duration of our wait in line....she appears in the photo that is in the upper left of this entry (she, left and Ingraham, right).
In any case, I escaped unscathed, a signed copy of Ms Ingraham's book in my possession; the author spent no longer with me than absolutely necessary to sign the book...(perhaps she got wind of my nasty secret...***hearty belly laugh***). It was an interesting beginning to the afternoon...and I imagine that since I bought the book I will probably at least peruse it a bit....perhaps the next time I go to the tanning salon ;-)
That's it for now....till later, much love to you....
v
